The Commie Republic of The Free City of Nelson is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Eduardo Delgado with a fair hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, otherworldly petting zoo, and compulsory vegetarianism. The compassionate, democratic population of 4.142 billion Nelsonians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Healthcare, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nelson City. The average income tax rate is 84.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Nelsonian economy, worth 407 trillion Escudoes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, quite specialized black market in Tourism, Information Technology, Pizza Delivery, and Arms Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 98,469 Escudoes, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The military has forsaken terrestrial warfare, orphans would rather live their life of luxury than be adopted by prospective parents, it is believed that belligerence is a passing phase foreign leaders will soon outgrow, and adults pretending to be teenage girls claim to have wholesome motives. Crime is totally unknown. The Free City of Nelson's national animal is the Nelsonian Ram, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

The Free City of Nelson is ranked 95,460^th in the world and 122^nd in Conch Kingdom for Most Corrupt Governments, with 14.52 kickbacks per hour.